We Go From If To When
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: She doesn’t feel this way often; she honestly doesn’t know if she’s ever felt this way before. It’s different and scary and it’s totally forbidden. He’s married and she’s giving him and his wife her unborn child. What is she doing? LP AU


**I own nothing, not even "She Is" by The Fray.**

I went over like seven different songs with this one-shot and while I love The Fray and love this song, I'm not sure it's the best fit. I'm too picky for my own good sometimes.

It's pretty much totally AU and I have no idea where it came from, but I've been writing it for days! LOL. Advanced warning, it's got some BL in it.

Enjoy!

* * *

_Do not get me wrong I cannot wait for you to come home  
For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own  
To figure it out, consider how to find a place to stand  
Instead of walking away and instead of nowhere to land  
_

They've been married for years.

Well not really years, but they've been together long enough that it feels like years. They were high school sweethearts. The captain of the cheerleading squad and the co-captain of the basketball team; basically high school royalty.

It wasn't always easy because he was more of a bookworm and a homebody and she didn't own books (aside from her textbooks) and home wasn't a word that was in her vocabulary. But they made it work. She spent time with his mother and he stood up for her when her mother came into town. They went out on Friday nights and hung out with their other friends on Saturdays and they met up again on Sunday's to do their homework. It was great and it worked in high school.

Right before graduation a clothing line Brooke cherished took off thanks to a friend's website skills. She was featured in events like Rouge Vogue and then Victoria's Secret took an interest. He had a book that he started writing in his junior year and for graduation his mother had it turned into a hardcover novel; for his personal collection.

They went to UNC and he majored in Literature while she majored in business even though she didn't think she needed a degree for it. She cheered in the stands when he played against his brother at Duke - UNC games. She wore all light blue and her sister-in-law wore all dark blue and they drew stares from the people in the crowds because they sat together and didn't try to kill each other.

He proposed when they were sophomores in college. It was after a fashion show she held on campus and they were in a small corner of a giant party held in her honor. He asked her to take a walk and under the moon and the stars and right near the lake on the farthest side of campus, he got down on one knee and gave her a ring that they all knew meant the world to his family. Naturally she said yes.

They married during their Christmas break of their senior year. It was lavish and extravagant and everything that represented Brooke Davis. Lucas wasn't exactly a flashy guy, but he wanted to see Brooke happy and so it's what he did. He always wanted her happy. And that was pretty much the happiest day of their lives.

Now they're twenty-five and settled in their careers. He's got two books under his belt and she owns a multimillion dollar corporation. She's got boutiques around the world and he's gone around the world on book tours. They have it all. Except one thing.

A baby.

"Brooke would you calm down!" Lucas begs as he watches his wife scurry around their large living room. She shoots him a glare and he stands from the couch to follow her into the kitchen. He's learned that look over the past few years.

"I can't calm down, Lucas", she says the second he steps into the room. "How are _you_ so calm?" she's frantically arranging the flowers in a vase on the countertop and Lucas swiftly walks over to take them from her. He rests them on the marble and pulls her into his arms.

"We've been through this before Brooke. If she's the right one, we'll all know it", his brunette wife holds on to him and buries her face against his shirt.

"I'm just tired of waiting, Luke", she whispers in her trademark raspy voice. Lucas cradles the back of her head and places a kiss to her temple.

He knows how bad she wants this; _he_ wants it _just_ as bad. They starting trying right after graduation to have a baby and even though nothing seemed to be working, they figured it would take a while. When they didn't get pregnant after a year, they went to see a professional. The diagnosis wasn't good.

"I know, pretty girl", he whispers. "Tell me about this girl again", he says softly – hoping to take her mind off of the heavier things. Brooke looks up at him with a smile and kisses his lips quickly. They both know pretty much everything they need to about this woman, but she knows that he's trying to distract her.

"She's from LA, which confuses me because she's in North Carolina now, but I don't know", she rambles and shrugs her shoulders. "She was working with a small time record label out there, but it never said why she left. I guess we don't actually know much", she says with a laugh.

Lucas laughs with her and shakes his head. They know all the important things. Medical histories, background checks, hair color and eye color (though those weren't important to the couple). They know this person, but they don't know her and he knows Brooke will find it all out.

Brooke looks over at the clock, but before she can comment on the time the doorbell rings and she freaks out. She smoothes out her top and runs her hand through her hair. Lucas looks at her with a small smile and he nods his head in the direction of the bathroom.

"Take a minute, I'll get the door", he says. She lets out a breath and he listens as her heels clack against their hardwood floors. He walks to the large oak door and finds himself running his hand through his hair and tugging at the bottom of his shirt to try and tame any wrinkles.

He takes a deep breath and pulls the door open; he has to take a deep breath again. They knew she has blonde hair and blue eyes, but physically they weren't told much else. Lucas is a married man and he respects that, but he is still a man. And this woman is beautiful.

"Hi", she says somewhat nervously. Lucas shakes his head and holds out his hand. "I'm Peyton Sawyer", she says with a small smile.

"Lucas Scott", he says and he sends her a grin that he knows is charming. They stand in the doorway for another minute before Peyton gives Lucas a look and he shakes his head again. "Sorry", he mumbles. Brooke will kill him if he freaks her out.

"It's just that every other person we've met with has been a lot younger than you", he sticks his hands in his pockets and Peyton looks back at him. "I just mean that, you're not some teenager who made a mistake."

"Nope, I'm an adult who made one", she says simply. Lucas closes his eyes and throws his head back. He already can't seem to catch a break with this woman. She sits on the couch and Lucas notices that she's wearing converse sneakers. It's refreshing and he smiles as he sits down.

"Okay, sorry", Brooke says as she walks into the quiet living room. She meets Peyton's eyes and smiles softly. They've been through this so many times that the introductions are routine and they don't even feel the awkwardness that tends to loom; well maybe Brooke doesn't.

"Can I ask you a question?" Brooke asks after they've gotten glasses of water and a snack for Peyton. The curly blonde nods and Brooke places her hand on Lucas' knee. They've gotten to know each other and they know about the baby and Lucas and Brooke feel really good about this.

"How come you're putting the baby up for adoption?"

Lucas chokes on his water and looks at him wife. The one thing they were always told by the agencies was to never ask the person they were meeting with their reasoning for adoption. He puts his glass on the table and takes her hand in his. Peyton watches them with a sad, almost nostalgic smile.

"I just don't feel like I'm at a place in my life where I can take care of a baby", she answers honestly. "I know I'm twenty-two, but as of right now I don't have a stable job and the father isn't in the picture . . ." she trails off and Lucas finds himself wondering – itching – almost needing to know what happened between Peyton and the child's father.

"Plus, I was adopted and I'm thankful. I grew up in a small town in Virginia and I had a great family life. If my birth mom hadn't had given me up, I wouldn't have had any of that", she shrugs her shoulders and Brooke smiles softly. "Can I ask you something now?"

"Sure", the brunette nods.

"How come you want a baby?"

Brooke doesn't hesitate in her answer, but Lucas finds himself staring at his wife and waiting to hear her words before he can find his own. He doesn't really know why that is.

"It's something I've always wanted. To have a little person that's dependent upon you. Someone that you nurture and teach right from wrong and who can do great things in the world. I want to feel complete", she whispers.

Peyton's silent for a long while and then she looks over at Lucas expectantly. "What about you?" she asks softly. He's been quiet the whole time and it's unnerved her. He should have something to say. He clears his throat and squeezes Brooke's hand.

"I want everything my wife wants and I want to see her smile for the rest of our life together", he looks at Brooke as he speaks and they both miss Peyton's frown. She isn't sure why she doesn't appreciate that answer, but honestly this is the best couple she's met with so far.

She obviously knew of them going in to this whole experience (who doesn't know of Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis-Scott?). She just assumed the tabloids and gossip columns were, at least to some extent, true. That doesn't seem to be the case at all though.

She's just so tired of the act that comes along when she's meeting with families. There's something about these two that put her at ease. Like she would have been Brooke's friend in a different life and like Lucas would have meant something to her. They have a gorgeous house (from what she's seen in the living room) and more than enough money to support a child, plus they're not a lot older than her so she knows there's a possibility to adopt more children.

Peyton takes a deep and lets it out slowly. "Okay . . . I think I've found my baby's family", she says softly.

Brooke gasps and immediately starts crying. She walks over to Peyton and sits beside her and pulls her into her arms. The blonde stiffens for a moment, but soon enough she wraps her arms around the brunette. She glances at Lucas and he's wearing a grin while he mouths "thank you" to her.

No more than ten seconds later, Brooke's telling Peyton she's moving in.

Peyton can already tell that there's no use in arguing.

_This is going to break me clean in two  
This is going to bring me close to you  
_

"Brooke, you cannot leave for an entire week!" Lucas says in a hushed whisper. Brooke puts her hands on her hips and taps her foot.

"Lucas, if I want to leave the New York headquarters in Millie's care I need to show her how to handle a crisis!" she fires back.

Lucas pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a sigh. He knew his wife was work centered, but he thought she would start to change. "Brooke, we have a pregnant woman living here. I'm pretty sure that trumps a fashion emergency."

Brooke's mouth drops and she shakes her head. "Don't be a jackass", she hisses. His head drops and he follows her around the kitchen. He hadn't meant to offend her; he was trying to make a point.

"Pretty girl", he whispers softly. She looks over at him and sighs. Her feet take her over to his waiting arms and he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I just think you should spend more time bonding with her."

"I've bonded plenty", she assures him. "You on the other hand, are lacking in that department", she gives him a knowing look and he scoffs.

It's true though. He purposely avoids situations where she's going to be alone with him mostly because he feels flustered and shy and he doesn't think he should be feeling those things about a woman who isn't his wife.

"I think she hates me", he mumbles. Brooke laughs and pushes away from him. "I'm not kidding! She's always defensive and snappy", he's not lying, she is all those things with him and he doesn't understand it one bit.

"It's a defense mechanism, Luke. She's uprooted her life in the past few weeks and she's not exactly the most trustworthy person to begin with. You need to get her to trust you", she says as she pours some coffee into her travel mug.

"She's giving us her baby, she must trust me", he says incredulously. His wife walks over and kisses his cheek before walking to the door.

"It's a different trust, Lucas. I love you!" she calls out as she's already out the door.

When Peyton wakes up a few hours later she takes a minute to gather her bearings, much like she has for the past few weeks. She still cannot believe she's living here; with them. She was adamant that she didn't need to, but then Brooke pointed out that Peyton said she didn't have a stable job and no real income and now that she was carrying _their_ child, she was going to be treated like a queen.

She trudges down the stairs in her pajamas and messy hair, not caring in the least about how she looks. She sits on a stool at the kitchen counter and looks around. The house is quiet, which is odd considering it's been anything but that lately and she notices that Brooke's bag isn't where it usually is.

She looks around and notices Lucas running around the driveway. She furrows her brows until she sees the orange ball bounce from one of his hands to the other. She's glad he isn't around because she smiles slightly. He dribbles the ball and spins around an imaginary person and then he shoots the ball. It soars through the air and swishes through the net.

He's a good looking man, she could never deny that; it's also part of the reason she's put up a wall with him. He's good looking and nice and well, she knows how long he and Brooke have tried to have a baby. She cannot be attracted to the man who's going to raise her baby as his own with his wife.

Their eyes lock for a split second, Peyton doesn't have enough time to feel embarrassed. Her stomach turns and she's darting off the stool for the closest bathroom. She makes it in time to flip the seat up and crash to her knees. This is by far her least favorite thing about pregnancy.

She's trying in vain to keep her curls back and hold herself up, but luckily she doesn't have to multitask much longer. Her hair is swept away from her face and a comforting hand is placed on her back. She empties the last of her stomach and nearly collapses away from the toilet to rest against the bathtub.

She's greeted with Lucas' sympathetic smile.

"I brought you some water", he offers with that same lopsided grin. Peyton takes it slowly and he can see a ghost of a smile on her lips. It feels almost like an accomplishment. He's made her smile! And he wants to keep doing it.

"Thanks", she says with a hoarse voice. She takes off the cap and chugs down half the bottle before looking at him. "What are you doing home?"

Her cheeks heat up slightly when she realizes that she's referred to his home as hers, but she feels at ease when Lucas chuckles. He leans against the tiled wall and rests his arms on his bent knees.

"It's Sunday", he explains easily. "The one day I have away from the high school gym", he says playfully.

"And yet you're playing ball anyway?" she asks with a raised brow as she takes in his appearance. Lucas narrows his eyes and tilts his head at her.

"It's in my blood", he mumbles with a smirk. That half of a smile has Peyton's stomach doing somersaults, but she doesn't feel like she's going to be sick at all. She can't be feeling this way though, she barely knows this guy.

But when he looks at her, she feels like he knows everything about her.

"Where's Brooke? I didn't smell burnt eggs this morning", she says with a laugh. Lucas laughs loudly; to say Brooke was a bad cook would be an understatement.

"She had some last minute stuff to take care of in New York", Peyton's eyebrows raise and Lucas clears his throat. "She wants to get the need to work out of her system."

The blonde nods and then takes another sip of water. Lucas stares at her in nothing but appreciation; he's really not trying to be creepy. She's wearing a UCLA tee shirt and it's far too big to be hers, her pajama pants are red and black plaid and her face is flushed from sweating and vomiting, but he still thinks she's beautiful.

He also notices the faint outline of a baby bump.

"Are you hungry?" he asks and she notes that he looks even cuter when he raises one of his eyebrows. She shakes her head at his question and rests her hand on her stomach (she's still freaked out by the small pouch that's there).

"I can't even think about food right now", she grimaces as she speaks and Lucas laughs lowly. She tries to move and Lucas goes to help her, but she shakes her head. "I think this is going to be my permanent spot for the day", she laughs at her herself and lets out a breath.

Lucas can't believe how bad her morning sickness is. Haley's was bad when she was pregnant with Jamie, but they all thought it was because she was so young (merely a senior in high school). He contemplates calling her, but she and Peyton haven't formally met yet and he knows how the blonde is around new people.

"Well then, I guess this is my spot for the day too", he says easily. Peyton doesn't respond, she simply smiles and shakes her head. There's no way he's going to sit on the bathroom floor across from her all day long.

But he does. They talk about everything and nothing. Lucas's college ball days and how he wishes he could have gone pro like Nathan, but he wouldn't trade coaching for the world. She tells him that she would love to open her own gallery or start a record label or maybe both and she blushes a little when he tells her he's sure she can make it.

And by the time the sun sets and they're both sore from sitting on a tiled floor she's positive she's got a crush on him.

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  
_

She's having a terrible day. She's moody and bloated and generally hates begin pregnant right now. She also hates that she's cooped up in this house while Lucas and Brooke get to have normal lives.

She's going crazy.

As she's walking out of the bathroom after puking up her breakfast she bumps into a hard body and immediately screams. The other person screams and then they both stare at each other. The man laughs at their dramatics and Peyton lets out a breath as she slaps his shoulder.

"Jesus Nathan", she mutters and walks down the hall. He continues to laugh until she turns to glare at him. "I don't find this funny."

"Oh come on! We both just freaked out even though we both knew I would be coming over today", he says reasonably. "It's funny."

She rolls her eyes, but smiles softly. Since she moved into the Davis-Scott household over two months ago she's gotten to know the family down the street – the other Scotts. It isn't hard to act like she already knew them, Nathan's a pro ball player and Haley put out a record when she was just seventeen.

"So who sent you this time? Brooke or Lucas?" she asks knowing it was one of them. Nathan chuckles and takes a seat at the kitchen counter. Peyton takes out a bottle of water and tosses it to him before taking out the container of apple juice.

"Brooke", he admits, mostly because there's no point in lying. Peyton rolls her eyes and lets out an annoyed sigh. "You know they mean well", he says softly.

"I know", she concedes. "It's just driving me crazy! All I do is sleep, walk around the house, and pretend to want to hang out with you", she adds in playfully.

Nathan's lips purse and he places his hand over his heart, "That gets me, Sawyer. Right here", he says dramatically as he presses his palm to his chest. She laughs loudly and whacks his arm as she sips her juice.

She finds it odd sometimes that, considering how closed off she's always been, she opened up to this family so easily (well except Lucas at first). They're just easy to get along with and they all have their own problems so hers don't seem so out of the ordinary.

"I'm sure it does", she murmurs sarcastically. "It's just that . . . Brooke's always either in New York or at her new store and Lucas is almost always at the school coaching –"

"Well have you told them about your frustration?" he asks delicately. He's trying to hide his smirk, but it's hard. Peyton's pretty funny when she's flustered.

He met Peyton a few weeks after she moved in with his brother and his wife. At first she was standoffish and well, a little bitchy, but now he adores her. He sort of feels like she's the little sister he never had. And since he hurt his knee a few weeks ago they've been spending more time together.

Peyton makes a face. "Brooke's doing everything in her power to make sure I don't overdo it. She doesn't want any stress for the baby, but thinking about not stressing out _is_ stressing me out and not having anything to take my mind off of it is even more –"

"Okay, okay . . . easy there Peyton", he says with a laugh. "I've got physical therapy in an hour. Come hang out with me", she gives him a look that lets him know she doesn't really want to do that either.

"Okay", he drawls out. "Then how about I bring Jamie by and you can watch him while I rehab for a little", her face lights up. James Lucas Scott is a bright little boy and easily her favorite little kid ever.

"I think that is a perfect idea", she says with a grin.

Nathan stays for another 45 minutes before he goes to pick up Jamie from his mothers and brings him to Lucas and Brooke's house. He drops the seven year old off with Peyton and they're both smiling as she closes the door.

When Lucas walks through the front door a few hours later he finds himself instantly smiling. He knows it has something (maybe everything) to do with the fact that he'll be seeing Peyton and he knows that it isn't right, but he can't find it in him to care to stop it.

He furrows his brows when he sees Jamie's schoolbooks on the floor and when he walks into the living room he sees the child asleep on the couch and Peyton lazily watching a television show. He takes a minute to watch the scene; this is what he always thought his life would look like.

Except it was always Brooke he pictured coming home to. Peyton gives his fantasy a new meaning.

The curly blonde finally notices him and smiles softly. He raises his hand and waves and Peyton tilts her head in the direction of the kitchen; Lucas follows behind her as she leads the way. He doesn't mind the view one bit.

He quickly shakes his head and runs his hand over his forehead. Nothing about this situation it good.

"Sorry, I just didn't want him to wake up", she says softly. Lucas shakes his head and lets her know that it's fine. "I also know he shouldn't be sleeping so close to his actual bedtime, but we had a busy day."

He watches the smile that graces her features and he can feel his heart do something he can quite place. It's beating rapidly and his stomach is swirling. It's been so long since he's gotten the butterflies that he isn't too sure this is what they are.

"Nathan pawned my godson off on you, huh?" he asks with a smile. She shrugs and carefully jumps up onto the countertop. Lucas leans against the kitchen island and folds his arms over his chest. Peyton notices the way his forearm muscles flex and she needs to look away.

"We had fun", she says happily. "All of his homework is done and we made a fort out of all the blankets in the house. He showed me some basketball moves and I drew little pictures that he colored in. And we baked", she says as she nods in the direction of the tin-foil covered platter.

Lucas raises his brows and grins at all the activities that she and Jamie did for the day. He also walks over to the cookies. Peyton watches him with a smirk and he lets out a noise when he takes off the covering.

"Chocolate chip is my favorite type of cookie", he says before taking a huge bite. He lets out a noise of appreciation and Peyton isn't sure why, but she's relieved that he seems to like them so much.

"We had a good day", she comments while nodding her head in satisfaction. Lucas chuckles and stares at her for a long while. Peyton tucks a curl behind her ear and bites her lower lip. She catches Lucas looking at her like this sometimes and she doesn't know how to deal with it.

It's like they're having a conversation without any words.

"You'd make a great mom", he whispers without really thinking and he panics once he notices Peyton's wide eyes. "I mean . . . you would – I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that", he mumbles and bows his head.

Peyton shakes her head and he's certain she's going to be mad at him for saying something like that. She hops off the counter and walks over to grab a cookie. The fact that she still hasn't said anything makes him nervous.

"Peyton, I didn't realize what –"

"Its fine, Luke", she whispers. "Maybe someday I will", she says with a shrug. "For right now, this is your baby", she grins as she puts her hand over her bloated belly and Lucas smiles too.

But he's only really smiling because he likes the way she called him _Luke_.

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  
_

A few days later Brooke walks into Peyton's room to find her sitting on the bed with a large scrapbook in front of her.

"Hey P. Sawyer!" she cheers. Peyton looks up and smiles at the nickname, she's learned that Brooke does it a lot; re-names people. She calls Nathan "hotshot", Haley's "tutor girl", Lucas is "broody", and she's even named the baby.

Peanut.

"Hey Brooke", she makes room for the brunette and Brooke sits while glancing at all the scraps of paper and stickers and the calligraphy markers. "It's for the baby", she says softly.

Brooke picks up a few of the papers and smiles at the way Peyton's designed the pages and the little sayings she's written out. "This is really cool, Peyton", the blonde lets out a breath and Brooke raises a brow. "P, I told you that you could be as involved as you wanted to."

"I know, but still. I feel like I'm intruding or something", she mumbles. Brooke laughs and shakes her head.

"You're crazy, you know that?" she asks playfully. "Listen, a little birdie told me that you've got a case of cabin fever –"

"Nathan told you?!" she cries in embarrassment. Brooke makes a face and tucks some hair behind her ear.

"Not Nathan so much as Haley, but Nathan _told_ Haley so _technically_ . . . yes", she says and both women laugh. "Lucas and I appreciate everything you're doing for us, Peyton. You're making the impossible possible and we love you for that . . ."

Brooke keeps talking, but Peyton's stopped listening. She knows it's not meant romantically, but the thought of Lucas loving her has her head spinning and her palms sweating. She doesn't feel this way often; she honestly doesn't know if she's ever felt _this way_ before. It's different and scary and it's totally forbidden.

He's married and she's giving him and his wife her unborn child.

What is she doing?

She tunes back in just in time to hear, "So that's why we want to take you out to dinner"; Brooke's smile is so wide that her dimples pop and Peyton can admit that she's intriguing. She's Brooke Davis, America's Sweetheart.

"That sounds really great", she says with a smile, but there's confusion behind her lips. She doesn't see how one night out to dinner is going to make up for months of basic solitary confinement. Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration.

"Great!" Brooke squeals and claps her hands. Peyton pretends not to flinch when she sees Brooke wedding ring glint in the light of her room. "We'll go out tomorrow night. I'll make you a dress!" the brunette stands and starts to leave the room and Peyton can hear her say;

"This is going to be so great!"

Yeah, great.

"Brooke, dinner was your idea!" Lucas says loudly as they stand in the living room. His wife zips her suitcase and nods her head. "You can't just . . . this isn't fair!"

"Lucas, I'm sorry that I have to work at inconvenient times, but it's my job – my career!" she yells and takes a minute to look at him pointedly. He stands a little straighter and narrows his eyes.

"Are you trying to imply something?" they've argued about his inability to write another book before so this is nothing new, but for some reason Lucas is taking it more personally then he usually does.

"No . . . Lucas I've got a flight to catch –"

"Okay, I'm ready", Peyton grumbles as she walks down the stairs. Lucas and Brooke both look up at her and Lucas is the only one who feels his heart stop. She's in a white sweater dress and ankle boots that he's sure are killing her feet.

She looks absolutely gorgeous.

"Brooke, I know you're in on the fashion scene, but even I don't think sweats are good to wear to a fancy restaurant", the atmosphere is tense and she's trying to break it, but that doesn't seem to be working.

"Actually, I can't stick around. I'm heading to Milan, I need some new fabrics for my line and . . ." she trails off when she notices Peyton's pursed lips. "Plus, this will give you and Lucas some time to bond", she says sweetly.

She's out the door before anyone can say a word.

She also doesn't tell Lucas she loves him. He can't find it in him to be upset over it.

"We don't have to go . . ."

Lucas shakes his head. "No, we'll go. We're going", he says firmly. Peyton smiles and takes in his appearance. He's wearing a white button up and black slacks and his hair is messily styled. He looks good, really good.

"You look nice, by the way", he says as they walk out the front door. Peyton bows her head and hopes her curly hair hides the blush that fills her cheeks. "Can't take a compliment huh?" he teases.

They get into the car, a vintage Mustang that Peyton's seen in the driveway from time to time, and start on their way to the restaurant. The curly blonde bites her bottom lip and plays with the radio for a distraction. When an old rock song comes on she smiles and finally looks over at Lucas.

"Why do you think Brooke's never noticed that we spend a ton of time together?"

"Because she's never home", Lucas spits out. Peyton's brows raise and Lucas shakes his head. He shouldn't let his anger towards Brooke interfere with his evening with Peyton; that sounded like a date. And this is not a date.

"Are you complaining about the time we spend together?" he asks playfully. Is he flirting? Is this flirting? It's been so long he doesn't even know what it feels like anymore.

"No", she says with a laugh. "No, I'm not complaining." Is she flirting? She's flirting. This needs to end.

They pull up to the restaurant and before they get out, Peyton grabs Lucas' arm. He looks back at her in confusion and she shakes her head.

"People are going to see you walk into a fancy restaurant with a pregnant woman", he stares at her and she balks back at him. "This doesn't concern you?!"

"Not really. Peyton, Brooke knows we're going out to dinner and everyone that's important to me knows the situation Brooke and I are in", he laughs at the way she deflates and then takes a deep breath. "Can we go eat now?"

"You wanna go somewhere else?" she asks suddenly. He looks at her with a smile and she rests her hand on the bump that carries the baby that he should be extremely excited for. He doesn't know when he stopped being excited.

Truthfully, he thinks it stopped right around the time he saw Peyton.

"Where to?" he asks and drives away from the awaiting valet.

They end up at a little diner in the middle of nowhere and Lucas loves it before he even goes inside. When they do step into the small hole in the wall, the bell chimes above the door and the few customers that are in there turn around and stare at the two blondes that are dressed to the T.

They order bacon cheeseburgers and triple thick chocolate shakes and an extra plate of fries because Peyton's craving them. They laugh at the people that whisper and no doubt text their friends about the author stepping out with a pregnant blonde. Lucas signs autographs and Peyton takes the camera so that fans can get pictures.

"That almost never happens", he promises once most of the customers leave. Peyton rolls her eyes.

"Oh please."

"I'm serious. Usually I'm out with Brooke or Nathan and they're the center of attention", he says simply. Peyton nods in understanding and pops a French fry into her mouth.

"Brooke's been traveling a lot lately", she comments softly. Lucas meets her eyes and nods his head. He obviously can't lie to her, she lives with them.

"It's just been a hectic few months. She's trying to branch out with different clothing types and new stores . . . it's her career and her dream", he shrugs and Peyton's eyes narrow slightly. "Next to having a baby", he amends.

"Don't both of you have that last dream?" she asks curiously. He debates lying or telling her what he knows she wants to hear, but he can't. He also can't talk about this now.

"Who's the birth father?" Peyton puts down her milkshake and wipes her hands on the napkin beside her. Apparently they're playing a truth for a truth.

"An ex of mine. We started dating in our freshman year of college and it all seemed great. After a while it became routine", she stares at the wall past him and he wishes he could see what she's seeing.

"What made you finally break-up?" he asks in the same tone that she uses. Peyton graces a ghost of a smile on her lips and looks at him.

"I found out I was pregnant and I knew I didn't want to raise a child in that type of environment. And I knew I was going to give the baby up for adoption, but I realized that I didn't want to raise _any_ children with _him_. Julian and I had a long talk and he gave up all parental rights. When I left he was pursuing film production. He always wanted to be an Indie movie producer; give the little guys a chance."

"Wasn't it hard though? Losing something that was always there for you, over the last four years?" her courage and strength amaze him. He's also pretty envious.

"Of course" she says with a laugh. "But I couldn't rely on stability. I needed to think about myself."

Lucas suddenly feels like he has a lot of thinking to do also.

_It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down  
I don't know where it is, I don't know when, but I want you around  
When it falls in place with you and I, we go from if to when  
Your side and mine are both behind it's indication_

"Lucas, you _know_ I hate surprises", Peyton groans as he hands her the blindfold. He nods his head and rolls his eyes.

"I know, but I don't seem to care", she glares at him before ripping the black satin mask from his hands. She slips it over her head and just to make sure she can't see anything Lucas holds up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Peyton's brow raises and she holds up her own hand; "How many am I holding up?" Lucas chuckles at the middle finger she sends him and he gets out of his car.

He walks around to the passenger side and before Peyton can step out of the car Lucas grabs her hand. Both blondes take a discreet deep breath. They don't have much physical contact except for when he holds her hair or rubs her back while she keeps her head in the toilet bowl.

The feel of his skin on hers is like a million little fireworks all going off at the same time.

She wants to feel more of it.

But she knows she never can.

"You okay?" he asks when he notices that she's frozen in place. She nods and gathers herself before slowly following behind him. "Actually, there are some stairs so I should stand behind you", he says more to himself.

"Lucas, where are you taking me? This isn't going to end with you taking the baby out of me and running off, right? Because I still have a few months to go and well I'm already giving it to you . . ."

There's a laugh in his voice and he shakes his head. "It's nothing like that. Creative imagination though", he comments.

"Yeah, it's like one of the top five biggest fears I have", she says while holding onto the banister for dear life and slowly climbing the stairs. "Another one is falling down the stairs backwards while being blindfolded."

Lucas laughs loudly and places his hands on her waist. She's wearing maternity jeans and a flowy top – his fingers graze the bare skin between the two articles of clothing and he can feel his pulse race.

"I've got you", he murmurs. Peyton nods and breathes out something he can't really decipher. They make it to the top and Lucas pulls open the large metal door. He takes her hand again and it's almost natural. How she slips her smaller hand into his and how their fingers intertwine so easily.

It feels like fate or a little something like it.

"Okay, Brooke wanted to be with me, but she's going to be gone for another week", he tries not to sound bitter or judgmental, but by now Peyton knows every tone his voice has. She gives his hand a gently squeeze and Lucas is glad that she's wearing an eye mask. His grin is huge.

"Can I take this off yet?" she whines, but he finds it adorable. Almost everything she does is adorable.

"Yes!" Lucas says finally and she rips it from her head. When she does she looks around the bare space and furrows her brows.

"Is this an abandoned warehouse? _Are_ you going to kill me?" she's only half kidding and Lucas can tell. He rolls his eyes at her outburst and leans against a large, round pole in the room.

He pushes off of the object and walks over to her. "This is yours", he says after taking a breath. "It can be your gallery or your studio or maybe even your record label. I don't know, but –"

He's cut off when her arms wrap around his neck and she gets as close to him as her expanded belly will allow. He's shocked at first, but soon enough he drapes his arms around her waist and squeezes her slightly.

This will get her out of the house more and she can use it to make her dreams come true in any way possible. "Thank you so much", she whispers.

Lucas pushes her back to arms length and he smiles sweetly at the tears that slowly run down her cheeks. "Peyton . . ."

"Stupid hormones", she grumbles. Neither of them knows if it really is just the hormones. "They make me cry and bloated and ugly . . ."

Lucas' eyes widen and he cups her cheeks without thinking that he shouldn't. "You are not ugly. You're one of the most beautiful pregnant women I've ever seen", he whispers sincerely. She sniffles a little bit and looks into his eyes. She's never really noticed how blue they are.

"Thanks", she whispers as a steady blush rises to her cheeks. She should pull away, but she doesn't. He should take a step back, but he makes no move. They both know that this is a dangerous situation, but neither of them seem to care.

Peyton breaks the moment when she leans into the touch of his warm hands and his wedding band rubs against her cheek. She pulls away from him and looks to the floor while her hands rest on her stomach.

Lucas tries not to look disappointed, but he fails miserably. Peyton tucks a curl behind her ear and Lucas stuff his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Jeans that make him look amazing, Peyton noted earlier.

"Sorry . . . sorry", he mumbles. He thinks that maybe he'll just come out and tell her that he feels things for her. It would be easier and almost safer then this little game they're playing now. Well he can't really say she's playing a game, but he feels like he is.

"It's fine", she murmurs and looks around the space.

She's trying to take her mind off of things and so her creative side takes over. She can picture her easel in the corner by the large window and some of her paintings on the bricked wall. A desk would go right in front of that same window and . . . maybe she'd get a pool table.

"Lucas, how are we going to get anything done in here?" she kinks her brow and Lucas smirks. He likes the way she's called them a '_we'_. He walks around the room just to take his mind off of the moment they shared earlier and then he stops to look at her.

"You've forgotten that I have an arsenal", her brows go from kinked to furrowed and he laughs. "Alright, so I have Nathan and Haley", she laughs loudly and nods her head.

"Better call them, Luke. We're gonna need that arsenal", she teases and he dutifully whips out his cell phone, but not before saying;

"I like it when you call me Luke."

She turns around so he can't see her blush.

His arsenal turns out to be more then the two people he mentioned. Skills, Mouth, Junk, and Fergie all roll in at an early hour and she's grateful for the extra hands. It would be nice if she had an expert opinion on some design things, but Brooke still away.

"Do you know where Peyton wants this?" Haley holds up a painting that she's come to learn was done by the curly blonde in the next room. When she does get a response from her best friend she turns around to look at him. She instantly rolls her eyes.

He's been off in another world all day.

"Hey! Lucas Scott!" she taps her foot impatiently and yells out, "Lucas Eugene!"

The blonde snaps his head around and the glare that Haley's met with makes her laugh. She walks over to him and he takes a seat on the floor. She follows suit and wraps her arm around his shoulder.

"Where has your head been all day?" Lucas shrugs and leans into the embrace of his best friend."Missing Brooke?" she asks knowingly.

Lucas turns his head and meets her brown eyes. Haley's wise; always has been. But sometimes she fails to see what's right in front of her. He thinks about lying and telling her that she's right, but she'd see right through that and then they'd be in an even bigger discussion because he lied.

"Actually . . . not really", he whispers. Haley furrows her brows and shakes her head in confusion. "I have something I need to tell you . . ."

His sentence trails off and Haley moves to face him directly. "You can tell me anything."

He looks nervous and Haley doesn't like it one bit. She's suddenly scared that whatever Lucas has to tell her is a big deal. Like maybe Peyton doesn't want to give up the baby or maybe Lucas and Brooke don't want to have a baby.

When he takes a deep breath and tells her he has feelings for Peyton she doesn't know how to react.

_This is going to bring me clarity  
This'll take the heart right out of me_

He's pacing around the kitchen waiting for Brooke to get home. Peyton's at her studio/record label/gallery (she hasn't decided what she wants yet) and so this is the perfect time to talk to her. He just hopes he doesn't chicken out.

He makes some tea, because he knows she'll want a cup and glances at the clock on the wall. She should be home any minute. He's spent the last few days trying to think about what he'll say to Brooke, but there isn't really any good way to tell someone you've fallen out of love with them.

"Hey husband!" she cheers as she walks in through the kitchen door. She's wheeling her luggage behind her and her oversized sunglasses are on top of her head. He smiles at her simply because he can't not do so and when she rushes over to kiss him, he thinks they both feel something's different.

"Hey Brooke", he says softly. She quirks her eyebrow, something he once thought was precious, but now all he thinks of is Peyton. He's got it bad. His wife (he doesn't know how much longer he can call her that) looks around the kitchen and furrows her brows.

"Where's preggers?" she asks playfully as she sits atop one of the dark brown stools. Lucas smiles at the nickname and thinks that maybe he's just confused. Brooke is beautiful and sweet and smart and _his wife_. But then he catches sight of a color that almost matches Peyton's eyes perfectly.

"Down at TRIC. She's trying to figure out what to do with the space", he smiles brightly, but Brooke looks hurt. "What?"

"I thought I asked you to wait till I got home", he looks at her for a moment and feels the anger he's kept aside boil up and over.

"I would have waited, but you extended your stay in Milan and then you _had_ to go to Rome", he mocks her. She shakes her head jumps off the stool to pace the kitchen. She can feel that this fight is going to be different than the others. She misses when they were the picture perfect couple that never fought and couldn't keep their hands off each other.

She can't pinpoint when they stopped being those people.

"Lucas, I'm sorry that my job takes me –"

"Let me stop you there, Brooke. I don't really care that your job takes you all over the world. It was your dream to be a designer and when you finally got it you know how happy I was for you", she smiles at him softly. "This is about other stuff", he mumbles and walks to get the tea kettle as it whistles on the stove.

It hits Brooke like a ton of bricks. Peyton; the other stuff is Peyton. She doesn't know how she didn't see this coming and she doesn't know why she would ever force the two blondes to spend so much time together. That slutty little pregnant bitch.

"Is this about Peyton?" she asks boldly and crosses her arms over herself. Lucas looks back at her and sighs. He debates taking the easy way out and telling her that it is, it'd be easier then admitting that there were problems before the gorgeous blonde came into their lives.

"Sort of", he admits – some truth is better than none. "But not really . . . Brooke we aren't happy anymore", he says softly.

She gasps. "I'm happy, Lucas."

He shakes his head. "You're only really happy when you're working. That's why you do it so much . . ."

"Lucas I told you that after the baby comes I'll take time off and maybe give everything over to Millie and my mother –"

"I know that, Brooke; I do. I'm just not sure I want to be around to see it happen", he can't believe the things he's saying and it seems like Brooke can't believe them either.

"You don't want a baby anymore?" she asks in a small, broken voice.

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "Not with you."

She isn't sure if she's surprised by this or not. She's really scared more than anything. She's spent nearly half her life with Lucas and to have to start over now would be too hard.

Especially with a baby.

Panic starts to fill her veins and she paces the kitchen furiously. "Okay so you don't want a baby with me . . . does that mean you want one with Peyton? Is Peyton still going to give me the baby? I know that she trusted that the baby would be brought into a normal household . . . are you and Peyton keeping the baby?"

Lucas's eyes nearly pop out of his head and he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Brooke, there's nothing going on between Peyton and I", it's not a total lie, but it's not the total truth either. And now all he can think of are little blonde haired, blue eyed basketball stars.

"Lucas, can we please not leave anything unopened?" she asks bitterly. She's pretty sure they're heading for divorce and she doesn't want to be blindsided with anything a few months from now.

"We don't! We've never done anything physical", he promises and Brooke lets out a breath. "We just have this connection", he explains as best he can.

Brooke shakes her head and covers her ears. She doesn't want to hear anymore. She wants to rewind five months and push Peyton Sawyer out the door before she can even start talking. She doesn't really though, because then she would have her baby.

She hopes she still has a baby.

Brooke pulls the latest sonogram out of the pocket of her sweatshirt and runs her finger over the fuzzy picture. "We wanted the same thing", she whispers.

"I think I only wanted it because you wanted it. I can't live like that."

"Lucas, I . . . I love you", she says sadly. She takes a few steps forward so that she's directly across from him; the kitchen island is between them.

"I love you too, Brooke", he says and he means it and he probably always will. "I'm just not _in_ love with you anymore."

She rests her hands on the countertop for balance and bites the inside of her cheek. She knows, down in the deepest pit of her soul, that this is for the better. She just can't accept that right now.

"You're just giving up?" he can hear the sob that she's desperately trying to hold back and it _kills_ him. Regardless of the fact that they're doomed as far as a relationship goes, she was his best friend for over a decade. He doesn't like to see her hurting.

"There's nothing left to fight for", his chin quivers and Brooke has to put her hand over her mouth to hold back her sob.

She takes in a shuttering breath and in true Brooke Davis fashion, she composes herself. She places the sonogram on the marble and slowly takes off her wedding rings. She places a diamond ring on the counter that they were both once so sure would stay on her finger forever. She quietly walks to the stairs.

"Brooke I never meant to hurt you", he whispers with a hoarse voice. The brunette looks at him with sad eyes and shrugs her shoulders.

"It doesn't really matter Lucas. It all hurts just the same", a few tears trail down her cheek and she disappears upstairs.

Lucas is left alone in a world he knows nothing about.

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

Peyton's sitting at the desk that Nathan put together for her the other day, sketching a few ideas. One that she's putting the finishing touches on consists of Lucas and Brooke cooing over the latest sonogram. She quickly shakes her head and rips the paper into pieces.

She kind of feels like Glenn Close in _Fatal Attraction_.

Granted there has been no seduction and zero physical contact, she's still connected to a married man. That sounds kind of lame, she knows it. But she's never felt this way about another person before. It's something she wishes could have happened years ago, even months ago. She's pretty sure she's in love with him.

And that's what she told Nathan the other day.

It probably wasn't the best idea, but she needed to tell someone and she knew that Haley wasn't exactly an option and she didn't have any real friends back in LA. She looked at Nathan like a big brother and she kind of felt like she could trust him.

He was freaked out and concerned that they were messing around behind Brooke's back, but after Peyton assured him none of that ever went on he seemed to agree with the idea of her and Lucas. He could sense that his brother and Brooke weren't exactly what they used to be and he told Peyton that if she ever needed anything he hoped she'd come to him again.

She's biting the cap of her pen and furrowing her brows when she hears someone walking across the hardwood floors outside. She's scared at first; pregnant woman, alone in the office sounds like a headline for the local newspaper.

She meets Lucas' tired eyes and her fear vanishes. Although, she's slightly concerned when she sees the puffiness of his eyes and the way his shoulders seem to permanently slouch. She doesn't say anything until he's sitting across from her, resting his elbows on his knees.

"What's wrong, Luke?" she asks softly. She's a little worried that maybe Nathan said something to his older brother. He smiles for the first time in an hour; he really does love it when she shortens his name. He tells her that Brooke's home and the curly blonde furrows her brows.

"Remember when you told me about your breakup with Julian?" she nods and he takes a deep breath. Suddenly he can't sit still and he needs to keep his blood flowing. "Well it made me think . . ."

Peyton's scared that she knows where this is going. She's scared for her life and she's terrified that he's done what she's wanted him to do for months. He paces the small space near the desk and trying to gather his thoughts.

"Lucas . . . I don't know where you're going with this, but when I told you that I wasn't trying to –"

"I know! But it still made me realize that I can't spend the rest of my life being happy sometimes. I want to be happy all the time, every day", she smiles at the compassion he uses when he speaks. "I started writing again", he says randomly.

"That's great!" she yells. She stands and wobbles her way over to him. He watches as she walks; carrying the life that was supposed to be for him.

"It's about this couple that the world knows of and some even admire, but deep down there are problems they didn't want to acknowledge. And then this woman comes into their lives and she changes everything", Peyton's eyes water and she shakes her head rapidly.

"Lucas", she whispers. "You're married."

He shakes his head and holds up his left hand where a ring once resided. It's currently resting atop the picture on the kitchen counter; right beside Brooke's rings. They've thrown in the towel.

"Not for much longer", he says softly. She lets out a noise that Lucas can't really make out. Something mixed between relief and sadness. "Peyton, I know what you're thinking –"

"I ruined your family", she tells him exactly what she's thinking. "I came into your life and broke up your marriage and now I'm sure Brooke hates me and wants nothing to do with me", she stops and meets Lucas' eyes. "You need to go back and tell her you were wrong."

He chuckles, but it's without any humor. They've talked about Peyton's fear of commitment. It scares her to give someone her whole heart because she doesn't like to feel vulnerable. She's spent a better part of her life being left behind; her adoptive mother died when she was a little girl, her father was always out to see with his dredging company, her birth mother died when she was a teenager, and her half brother is overseas with the Marines.

But she's forgetting that Lucas isn't any of those people.

"Peyton, don't do this", he begs angrily. She puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes. "I know I'm not crazy. There's something here!"

She knows he's right, of course he's right. She told Nathan the same thing a few days ago. It's just hard for her to put herself out there and trust someone to love her and not leave her. She can feel that Lucas is different, but it's still frightening.

"I don't want to be a home wrecker", she whispers. Lucas smiles and walks over to her slowly.

"You're not, this was a long time coming", he promises. "If it didn't happen now, it would have happened eventually."

"It's kind of crazy that I didn't know you a few months ago. Now I feel like I couldn't live without you in my life", she whispers with a smile. Lucas grins and embraces her without a second thought. She hugs back just as tightly.

And when they each pull back a little he finally kisses her perfect lips.

It's soft and slow and everything a great first kiss should be. Peyton's hormones are on overdrive and so it doesn't take much for her to deepen the kiss. Her tongue skims across the seam of his lips and Lucas doesn't hesitate to allow it access. He buries his hand wrist deep into her curly hair and she runs her hands up and down his back.

They break apart at the need for air and Lucas rests his forehead against hers. "I think I'm falling in love with you", he breathes out.

Peyton doesn't respond, but she doesn't need to. She leans up and presses her lips to his simply because she wants to and she can (kind of). He takes that as his answer and he nuzzles his nose against hers in a sweet gesture that has her swooning.

The baby kicks from inside and she takes that as a good sign. He or she is happy that Peyton's finally found her happiness. She knows she's being a little suggestive with that. But the action also causes her to think of something else.

"I have to go take care of something", she says quickly. Lucas furrows his brows. "It's . . . I'll be right back, okay? Don't leave!" she teases as she starts to walk away.

"I wouldn't dream of it", Lucas swears. It melts Peyton's heart and she has to walk back over (he meets her halfway) and kiss him right on the lips.

Lucas watches her leave and feels like he's floating on air. He also wishes he knew where she was going.

When Peyton knocks on the door she feels her nerves kick into overdrive. She doesn't know how this is going to end, but she hopes Brooke doesn't punch her in the face. The brunette opens the door and Peyton stares that the broken woman before her.

"I'm not out", she says seriously. "I'm still in as long as you're still in."

Brooke smiles and nods her head. She pulls Peyton in for a hug and the two women start to tear up.

"I'm in", she whispers. "I'm in."

And this moment feels a little bit like forgiveness.

_This is going to bring me to my knees  
I just want to hold you close to me_

They take things slow.

He's still legally married and they don't want the press to catch wind of the romance; not yet anyway. So Lucas lives in an apartment not too far from TRIC and whenever he and Peyton do meet to hang out it's always in her office.

She still lives with Brooke and while things are awkward and slightly tense, they're making it work. She goes with Peyton to all the doctor's appointments and they've decorated the nursery together (Nathan painted and put the furniture together).

Peyton walks into her office with a smile on her face when she sees Lucas sitting a chair. He's wearing a plaid button down shirt and the jeans that she loves on him and he's got a little scruff on his face that she wants to rub her cheek against; and she will, later.

"Hey there", she greets him with a smile. He turns around and grins at her while standing to meet her at the edge of her desk."I could get used to this", she mumbles after they end a kiss.

"You might have to", he says huskily.

Neither of them really minds taking it slow. She's pregnant with another man's child and she's giving the baby to his soon-to-be-ex-wife so the entire situation is just too weird for them to consider sex. But they make-out. In fact, they're like the make-out champions, when it's all you do you have to be good at it.

"I wish this damn baby would come out already", she grumbles as she sits in her leather chair and rests her head in her hand. She's just a few days overdue and she's already going a bit crazy; she can't be pregnant for much longer.

"What'd the doctor say?" he asks as he sips his coffee. Peyton shrugs and tells him the usual. They baby's healthy and as long as there's no eminent danger they can't really do anything. If two or three weeks from now she's still pregnant, then they'll take the necessary procedures.

"What?" she asks when she sees his solemn face.

"I just hate that I'm missing this stuff", he says with a pout. Peyton gives him a sympathetic smile. "And I don't mean that I hate not being involved with Brooke or the baby – even though you know I would. I don't like not being with you when all this happens", he mumbles.

Peyton stands and walks over to sit on the arm of his chair. His arm wraps around her lower half. "I'm pretty sure you're the best boyfriend ever", she whispers. Lucas grins before leaning up to press his lips to hers. She pulls away playfully when their lips are a hairsbreadth away.

"Pretty sure?" he asks as his eyes glance from her eyes to her lips. She giggles and nods her head.

"Okay", she concedes. "You're the best", he chuckles from low in his throat – a noise she's come to love – and he kisses her before she can move away.

"I know things are still weird between you and Brooke and rightfully so, but you're both going to be in the delivery room, so try not to kill each other, okay?"

Lucas groans. He doesn't know when or if he and Brooke will ever really communicate again. They haven't spoken since he moved out a few weeks ago and the only time they have real contact is when they sit across from each other at the divorce lawyers' office.

"If anything, she'll go after me", he whispers. "But at least we'll already be in the hospital', he jokes, but Peyton doesn't laugh.

"Luke . . ."

"You know I'll be there", he whispers. "You also know I'm going out of town tomorrow for a week", she nods her head and smiles. Lucas has a meeting with his editor about the book he's nearly finished with.

Brooke stopped traveling shortly after she and Lucas ended things. She figured she needed to devote more time to preparing for the baby and trying to work on her relationship with Peyton. She's only left once and that was to go to the Macy's in Manhattan to find the perfect nursery set.

"Yes I know. Don't worry, this kid's not going anywhere", she promises.

And so of course she goes into labor the second day Lucas is gone.

It's painful and annoying and she just really wants Lucas. Brooke's next to her doing her best to comfort her, but it doesn't help. Nathan and Haley are in the waiting room and they've both visited. Haley offered her words of encouragement and Nathan grimaced and told her he was glad he was a guy.

She laughed and told him she loved him. Haley mocked a glare and Peyton assured it was a sibling kind of love. Even Brooke cracked a smile at the interaction.

"Peyton just a few more pushes", Brooke promises. Peyton rolls her eyes and groans loudly. She doesn't _want_ to push a few more times. She wants this whole thing to be over with!

"You're almost there, Ms. Sawyer", the doctor says from between her legs. She grits her teeth and curses Lucas for not being here (even though it's not his fault). She grabs Brooke's hand and the brunette helps her sit forward.

Peyton counts to five and pushes harder than she ever has before. The doctor counts down from ten and Peyton's face turns beat red; Brooke has to remind her to breathe steadily. She's ready to give up when there's sudden relief and Brooke gasps. She can hear the nurses and doctors and then there's this little cry of life.

And the doctor announces that it's a boy.

Brooke starts crying tears of utter happiness and Peyton starts crying too. She's brought a life into the world . . . a life that she won't be a part of. She needs Lucas now because she's starting to second guess herself and she knows she can't. She knows she can't keep this baby and take care of it. Besides, it really does feel like he's Brooke's.

Hours later Lucas comes rushing into the room with his shirt mis-buttoned and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. Peyton lying curled up in the bed with her hands under head and silent tears streaming down her face.

His heart breaks for her.

Lucas doesn't say anything. He simply takes off his suit jacket and slips off his shoes. He climbs into the bed and holds her as tightly as he can without hurting her. His hands rest on her slightly deflated stomach and tears prick his eyes.

Her hands intertwine with his and she squeezes them against her. "It was a boy", she whispers with a hoarse voice.

He closes his eyes and presses a kiss to her head. He can imagine that giving up a child – whether you knew you were keeping it or not – must be the hardest thing to ever have to do. He admires her and he's proud of her courage and strength.

"Maybe we'll have one of our own someday", he whispers into her ear. She starts bawling right then. Harsh sobs that wreck her body and cause him to cry a little bit too.

She tells him she loves him, loves everything about him. She wants a life with him and to _create_ lives with him.

He doesn't hesitate to tell her that he loves her too.

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

"Hey Mikey!" the older blonde yells as she opens the front door. The small brunette cheers and jumps into her waiting arms. Peyton smiles and squeezes him tightly before setting him on his feet. She meets his mothers' eyes and kinks an eyebrow.

"Why don't you go inside and find Will, he's waiting for you", she says as she ruffles his hair and nudges him inside. He agrees and runs off at full speed (full speed for a five year old) down the foyer and into the living room.

Peyton leans against the doorframe and stares at Brooke. "How you feeling?" she asks with a knowing smile. Brooke sighs and runs a hand through her hair.

"Like crap. I never gave you enough credit all those years ago", she says seriously. "And I'm only _just_ starting my second trimester . . ."

A few months after Peyton gave birth to Michael she hired some new staff for TRIC, which Lucas' mother had signed over to her. One the new employees were a bartender by the name of Owen Morello. Brooke was instantly interested.

She had taken her time to grieve over her lost marriage, but she was really grieving over the loss of her best friend. It took her a while, but she was able to admit that she and Lucas were a high school romance and they should have been over long before Peyton came into town.

So the healing process began. She and Peyton were steady as far as their friendship, but slowly, she and Lucas worked on theirs. They still aren't anything where they once were, but they each think that's fitting since they're settled in other marriages.

At first Owen was afraid the commitment that came with dating someone that had a child, but he simply fell in love with Mikey and he and Brooke were married twenty months later. He legally adopted Mike and now Brooke was pregnant; through some fate that they still don't understand, but would never question.

"Well, be careful in New York", Peyton says sternly. Brooke nods and rests her hands on the barely noticeable pooch at her midsection.

"I will and thank you for watching Mike, I wouldn't even be going if this wasn't such a big deal", she grumbles. The car that's waiting for honks and she turns around to glare. "I better go . . . give him a kiss for me", she says with a smile.

Peyton nods. "Be safe, call us when you get in", she says and both women hug and kiss cheeks. And then the brunette is off to her fashion empire.

The blonde walks back into the house and lets out a breath as she nears the living room. Lucas is making some kind of animal noise and both boys are laughing hysterically. She stops in the hallway and watches with a smile as William and Michael are climbing all over him and Lucas is growling like some type of animal.

"What's going on in here?" she asks with a loud, playful voice. William's face lights up and he runs over to her. Peyton grins as she lifts him into the air and then her arms. "What are you doing to daddy?"

A year after Michael was born Peyton gave birth to William Nathan Scott. It was a surprise to everyone, including Lucas and Peyton, when she got pregnant. She had just given birth and here she was in the same predicament, but she was ready this time. She had a husband (they married as soon as his divorce was settled) and a great job (she was an art teacher at THH and turned her little office into a recording studio) and a gorgeous house on the beach.

And most importantly she was _happy_.

"He's not daddy", he whispers. "He's a bear!" the four year old exclaims. Peyton laughs at his enthusiasm and looks at her husband. He's on all fours with his teeth showing and when he notices Peyton looking at him he blushes profusely

"Okay you park rangers, go wash up and I'll make you some lunch", she says and puts Will on his feet. Both boys run in the direction of the bathroom and Peyton stares at Michael for an extra minute. He's got her eyes, but Julian's hair and it amazes her that he's biologically her son.

He calls her aunt for right now, mostly because he's five and things would be too confusing. They plan on telling him and William the truth especially with Nathan and Lucas's history. But they want to wait for when they're both old enough to understand the words that the adults would have to say. For right now, they're all okay with the way things are.

She walks over to Lucas with a twinkle in her eyes. "A bear, huh?" He smirks and she feels her heart flutter just like always. He kneels on the carpet and she reaches for his hand to help him up. He groans and stretches and lets out a puff of air.

"I'm too old for this", he says and she juts out her bottom lip in sympathy. "Are you mocking me?"

She shakes her head and starts to walk away. "No baby, just maybe . . . maybe you should be a tamer animal", she says softly and with a smirk that could match his own. "Like a kitten or something."

He raises his brows and nods his head. "A kitten?" Peyton giggles and nods and Lucas shakes his head. "I'll show you kitten", he growls out and grabs her by her waist in order to pull her closer. His lips press against hers and every kiss they share has a way of feeling like their first.

Their moment is short lived because the two boys run back into the room demanding their lunch and Lucas and Peyton can only oblige. They make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and give the boys glasses of milk, they have chocolate chip cookies as a treat afterwards and then they're back to running and playing and laughing.

By the time Brooke comes to get him later that same day it's dark out and Owen has to carry him to the car. Before he does, Brooke smoothes out his hair and whispers that she loves him, her little peanut. They all hug and shake hands and kiss cheeks; Brooke says goodbye to her godson and Peyton and Lucas kiss theirs on the top of his head from Owens's arms.

The two blondes close the door behind them and Peyton leans against Lucas's body. He wraps his arm around her and places a kiss to the top of her head. It was a long day and they're both silently glad it's over. They walk into the living room and find their son sleeping on the couch.

Peyton squeezes Lucas's side and looks up into his blue eyes. He smiles, but it's filled with a little bit of confusion and she rests her free hand over his heart.

"I love you", she whispers.

He grins and presses her against him. They kiss and it's passionate (because nobody can call them gross or beg them to stop), but still pure and he can't believe he hasn't known her for his entire life. He loves her more than he's ever loved another human being (it's a different kind of love from what he feels for their son).

"I love you too", he whispers once they break apart.

She's everything he's ever needed. And he never even knew it.

_She is everything  
(I needed)  
She is everything_

* * *

Let me know what you think!


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